Daily Peeve

Solar Flare Interferes With Chris Dodd's Crime Filter

2012-01-24T21:26:00.002-05:00

If loose lips sink ships, then Chris Dodd, ex-senator and current MPAA CEO has certainly put his good ship Lollypop in danger of getting torpdoed. It is certainly the worst kept secret in the history of the world that politicians mold their policy positions based on who lines their coffers with treasure, but everyone who is involved damn well knows to maintain that cloak of "plausible deniability". That is, until Dodd cold lost it and spilled the beans. Now, to appreciate the gravity of this, one must sit back and consider not only the possibility of bribery charges that might possibly be leveled against Dodd himself, but where that investigation might ultimately lead, and who else might have been caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

It certainly seems the people are pissed. It took less then a day for the public to compel the White House to swing its baleful gaze toward in Dodds direction.

Stay tuned, cuz I'm thinking some serious shit is about to go down.

Seriously?!

2012-01-23T21:15:00.003-05:00

Oh for the love of God. Please don't ever mistake me for a person who loves cats, but this is a bit on the insane side. Those who follow this blog, which I admit is pretty close to no one at this point, know I spare the rod for no one, especially Conservatives Gone Wild, but seriously, the cat? This transcends Liberal v Conservative. This is just simply some idiots who think they're helping the cause when in fact they're making fools of them.

This Thing On?!

2012-01-21T19:59:00.003-05:00

Okay okay, I get it. Up to now for the last few years this has been a serious misallocation of valuable internet resources, and I do surely apologize for that. Truth of the matter is, I have a short attention span (oh, and a family, which let me tell you is a serious time sink) so my ability to ~~give my complete effort and attention~~ give a damn and take the time to research stories like a proper journalist is severely compromised. So instead of going the way of a lot of "journalists" and simply make shit up I chose to keep my mouth shut. How I've managed to do this in the face of the political goings on lately completely befuddles me, since really, this is some of the best comedy to come out of the political scene since Nixon! It really just writes itself. That being said, I've opened a Twitter account so I suppose I might actually need to, you know, get to work on some of my trademark long winded bloviating. Really shouldn't be that hard since, as I mentioned before, there's no shortage of stuff begging to be peeved. So, let's tear into a couple.

First a programming note. From this point forward, this blog WILL be making use of colorful metaphors. The English language has these words in them, and I honestly think that, when used in proper context and correctly, lend a lot to the emotion and poignancy of the written word. (As an aside, "tits" doesn't even really qualify anymore so I admit the previous hyperlink is a bit dated, but hey we at the Peeve are nothing if not nostalgic.)

On the personal side, as ~~many of my loyal Peeve followers are aware~~ none of you know since exactly zero people follow this blog to date, I hate people. I mean this to say, I hate a majority of people. Obviously I like some people, but these are people who have some intrinsic value to the world with their ability to think objectively and not simply absorb and regurgitate what they hear as fact without a thought to the validity or, indeed logic of it. As for the General Population in the country, people are by and large over-opinionated and woefully under-informed dolts, or worse, simply not interested in thinking for themselves. But I digress. We have an underground garage at work. This garage has a lot of spaces. I am not entitled to any of these spaces, so as such I cannot park in there during "normal business hours". I don't work normal business hours, so after hours or on the weekends, I can get in there. This is good, since it's colder then a well diggers ass outside, it's snowing and there are more people who have access to and can fuck with my car when it's outside. Anyway, there are a lot of spaces down there. When I came to work at 8 in the morning today, there was about 10 cars down there (including the one that has been abandoned there since around 2003). I park in any random space near the elevator and go about my business. At the end of the work day 9 hours later, I wander downstairs to see someone has put a sheet of notebook paper on my windshield that reads "this is a private parking space 7 days a week". It was easy to get to this thing stuck to my windshield since there WASN'T ANYONE PARKED WITHIN 3 SPACES OF MY CAR! So faced with the daunting task of having to park 4 feet over in the next space (which incidentally could have put him 4 feet CLOSER to the elevator) this fucktard instead takes the time to break out a pen and a piece of paper and write me a note. Words absolutely fail.

A few political points to make. Newt is victorious in South Carolina! That makes three candidates on top for three primaries. So basically the GOP is still completely rudderless, though this does pretty much make irrelevant Ron Pauls' and Santorums' bid. Ron Paul because there's absolutely no way the GOP will allow Ron to represent them in the general election. If by some miracle Paul became an actual threat to win, (which he won't unfortunately), he'd either be bought off (unlikely, since Paul has actual, you know, convictions and ideas about America) or suffer some unfortunate incident.

And of course, Santorum is just there for comedic value at this point. His latest moment of brilliance had him, in his typical rush to denounce anything not Christian, stating that “(equality) doesn’t come from Islam. It doesn’t come from the East and Eastern religions, where does it come from? It comes from the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, that’s where it comes from.”

Ummm, Dick, err excuse me, Rick? Perhaps if you're going to espouse your Christian values you should have a better grasp on the Good Book, cuz last I checked Ishmael was the first son of Abraham, and was recognized as one of the first Muslims. Thus the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is also the God of Ishmael. So those Muslims you're so phobic about? Same God. Guess you're gonna have to base your religious phobia on some other ideal.

9/11: A Day That Will Live In Infamy, But Just To Make Sure We're Going To Run Film Of It Every 30 Seconds For The Next Week

2011-09-10T11:07:00.002-04:00

Dateline: New York. The Morning of September 11th, 2001.

Now, seriously, I challenge you to find me a person on United States soil over the age of 8 with the capacity for normal thought and recollection who can't tell me the rest of the story of that day.

Now find me a person meeting the same criteria who can accurately describe to you the events of December 7th, 1941?

And yes, thank you, I am aware of the differences in terms of target and intent, but let's consider how many MILLIONS of people lost their lives as a result of THAT event, compared to the several thousand who have thus far died as a result of the attacks in New York and Washington DC.

Now, I realize that you über-Patriot readers have stopped reading at this point and am now working over your resources to discover who I really am so you can deport me or worse, but there really is a point to be made here... I have a child at home. A young one. One who occasionally sits next to me and watches what's on the television. Is it important that he understand the history of our nation, and how we have become for better or, at the moment, horribly worse, the America we are today? Absolutely. Is it imperative that he understand that there are people out there that mean to do him harm for things he has nothing to do with? Absolutely.

Is it necessary that he see, in vivid color and high definition and Dolby Surround sound, the last seconds of life and horrifying deaths of thousands of people, recapped from various angles and super slow motion, with play by play and breakdown? No. It is unnecessary and gratuitous.

By and large, Americans in the early 1940's learned of Pearl Harbor via a headline in the newspaper with a picture of a burning ship, or radio, where the scene was described to them with enough detail to get the point across without offending anyone. People who were not at the scene of the crime were not subjected to seeing people dead or dying, yet they got the point: America was attacked, innocents died, those that were responsible must be held accountable for their actions.

Usually I'm the one to jump up and down and cry foul when someone starts complaining about sex or violence on TV. As a parent, it is my responsibility to monitor and if need be control what my child watches, and under normal circumstances this would be easily accomplished with very little effort. In this particular circumstance though, unless I'm going to watch Sprout for the next 2 weeks, the images of 09/11/01 are unavoidable.

It is important that we never forget what happened. It is unhealthy and counterproductive to relive the event every 30 minutes.

Activists are Knuckleheads

2008-12-01T12:04:00.002-05:00

Okay, an update. These particular activists are either stupid or dumb. Watching this, they just had two of their crew jump on board another ship without permission on the high seas. To everyone else with half a brain and a very basic understanding of international law would recognize this as classic, by the book piracy.

For some reason these idiots think their crewmembers have been "kidnapped".

Jesus wept.

And the whales? Well, they're not coming to their rescue either... Apparently even they know the law.

Activists are Funny

2008-12-01T11:04:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I saw these advertisements on TV for a program called "Whale Wars". It looked pretty cool and I'm kind of hot on these types of shows, being a fan of The Deadliest Catch and the sort so I set up my way cool recording thing-a-ma-bob to do it's thing and I am now sitting here watching it. Here is my tale on it...

Activists are, by and large, silly, misguided and self-absorbed people. So petty and self-absorbed, in fact, that apparently different activists groups fight with each other about the same things.

I'm trying to balance the extreme irritation I have for people who are so intolerant with anyone that doesn't subscribed to their viewpoints with the fascination of watching these idiots jump in front of the figurative train in an attempt to stop it though sheer will.

So far, I'm still watching.. But I am starting to get the urge to throw something through my TV screen.

It Is Done.

2008-11-06T13:15:00.002-05:00

First off, I'd like to congratulate the American people for not fucking up two times in a row. A scant 36 hours ago, it came to pass that Barack Obama is out 44th president, and not a second too soon. If you want any indication of the kind of president Bush is and what he's done to this country, one only look at the reaction around the world to the announcement that Obama will be moving to Pennsylvania Avenue in February. Hell, even the FRENCH approved! That, my friends, is historical by itself.

Now it'll be interesting to see what happens from here... My only fear is that the American people and to some extent the people around the world have raised the bar for Obama so high that anything he does will be seen as falling short.

We shall see. These are no doubt going to be interesting times.

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

2008-11-02T10:29:00.003-05:00

I've been struggling to put into words just how to explain the tone and character of the Republican rally cry, and I've seen a disturbing trend developing. At this point in the McCain/Palin campaign, the points that they are hitting on are chiefly thinly vailed personal attacks on Obama. Rallying your populace against an unseen enemy has been tried by another politician and we all know that relying on your population's inability or unwillingness to grow their own brains can only turn out badly. We are beginning to see the fruits of our non-labor now, what with a foreign policy that is reckless at best, an economy that has, for all intents and purposes, imploded, and horrifyingly erronious misallocations of valuable military resources.

What's truly troubling is how close the race is between Obama and McCain. Here's part of the problem. People, in general, are pretty dumb. Here's a few things I've heard, unsolicited, out of people where I live here in suburban Chicago:

"Obama supports gay marriage, which means they would be teaching that to our children in school!"

"Obama is a Muslim, therefore he supports terrorism"

"Obama is a Communist"

This is the kind of stuff I've been hearing and unfortunately, for these people, there's obviously no ability to reason logically with them since apparently they're intellectually void. This is the kind of blind, mindless sheep mentality that saw Bush to a second term. As you'll recall, the battle cry in '04 was "we gotta win the war against terrorism"! Of course, no one at that point had any obvious point of reference since the mainstream news media hadn't clued in yet that Iraq had effectively nothing to do with the current domestic terrorist problem, so all they had to go by was the rhetoric from both parties, and the American people put their money on "the devil you know" spot, without any consideration for any of the other domestic problems we faced at that time. Unfortunately, the American people have only partially awakened to the notion that closing your eyes and wishing something to go away doesn't make it actually go away. The only action that seemed to make sense at the time was to move a Democratic majority to the Hill, but all that did was grind the Federal Government to a complete halt for the last 2 years. If for nothing else, at least if Obama makes it into office, SOMETHING will get done!

I've heard many times the saying "the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer". I never really appreciated what that meant until now, and what's really scary about that is that "poor" line is steadily creeping upward. Make no mistake about it. You are all witness to that quote born out in reality. For the last 6 or so years, a lot of people in the banking and loan industry have made insane amounts of money. When that chicken finally came home to roost, guess who got to foot the bill to put Humpty Dumpty back together again?

Scary, eh?

Tonight, On The Comedy Channel...

2008-10-02T19:50:00.002-04:00

The Vice Presidential debate is a mere hour away. We here at the Peeve will be sitting in front of our TV's with popcorn and beer in hand, ready to watch the fireworks, and we promise we will do everything we can not to spray beer in a mist our of our mouths while laughing at the countless gaffes sure to be presented.

So, What's gonna happen? Here's the Peeve's Predictions:

Biden will adopt the "damn the torpedoes, ramming speed" tactic of attempting to bury Palin under he own naïvety.

Palin will answer every question posed to her by either avoiding the question or pontificating about how McCain is going to make the world a better place.

Stay tuned.. Either way, this is gonna be hilarious!

Palin. Renegade. Ummm.... and That's About It...

2008-09-30T12:54:00.002-04:00

As promised, I've found the promised Palin/Couric interview. It's even better then I first thought. Please, before starting the ride, ensure that your sitting down and have nothing that might fall out of your mouth onto the keyboard when your jaw goes slack in amazement.

Outstanding.

And, a little bonus, just in case you think Sarah was just having a bad day when she sat down with Katie, here's the Palin/Gibson interview from September 11th.

Gibson, "Do you agree with the Bush Doctrine?"

Palin: "Huh?"

Pure

Internet

GOLD!

"If You Put Peanut Butter In a Horses Mouth, It'll Look Like He's Talking!"

2008-09-30T12:50:00.001-04:00

So, McCain/Obama round 1 is in the books, and by all accounts it was, well, uninspiring. God knows we could sure use a legitimate contender in the “other” box right about now. The Republicans are certainly not the answer unless you want to see how the Roman Empire went down in flames first hand, and the Democrats might save the nation, not that you’d be able to see it, since the government will have to feed the 200 bazillion dollar budget shortfall that will occur when they attempt to rewire the entire United States to accept wind power and regulate the health care industry, which basically means you’re footing the bill.

Speaking of footing the bill, it appears Uncle Sam has this genius idea that we, the people, buy up almost a trillion dollars of crap even a junk bond trader would run away from like it was anthrax. We, as usual, have ZERO say in it, and sure as hell, if by some miracle this debacle actually turns a PROFIT, I can about guarantee we will not see a cent of it back into our pockets. So, in review, you and I take all the risk, and get none of the reward. Thanks for playing!

I heard rumor of a Palin interview with Katie Couric while I was sitting at work half paying attention to the television. CNN’s Cafferty ran a clip of it, which I was wholly not paying attention to, because I was sort of busy, but more to the point, listening to Sarah Palin speak makes my skin crawl in a way it not experienced since 4th period Spanish class. What caught my attention was Cafferty afterwards basically looking like he was seriously considering getting on a boat and trying to sail TO Cuba to escape the insanity. To paraphrase, he basically said, “In the event McCain cannot continue his job, you’ve just heard from the next potential president of the United States. I’m moving to Chile”.

I’m positive it’s on Youtube by this point, so your crack reporter will get it up for you here on the Peeve post haste. If it’s half as bad as Cafferty makes it out to be, I’m going to be revisiting the idea of defecting to Canada.

Also in the works for you my reader, the Peeve breaks down each party. We’ll review the mission statements, the basic Q and A’s, and boil it all down to layman’s terms. After careful consideration, we’ll start with the Libertarian Party. Why? Because their manifesto reads like the Satanic Bible* of politics, and that, my friends, is just too good to let wait.

*For those of you who are Christian and read the bible, you really should familiarize yourself with the Satanic Bible. It’s hilarious. For those of you who really think it will burn a hole in the book shelf or will invoke the spirit of Newt Gingrich, you can simulate reading the thing. Basically, take any teaching or point the Bible makes, and read it as an opposite. Example: Bible: “Thou Shalt Not Kill”. Satanic Bible: “KILL KILL KILL”…
Easy as pie.

Operation: ANARCHY!!!1!!!11!!!

2008-07-12T11:20:00.003-04:00

All you anarchists, non-conformists, liberated minds, free thinkers, vegans, UNITE!

And for all of you youngsters who can't stand the thought of one more ride on the bus and want to stick it to The Man, here's your handbook on how to be well on your way to a life of dumpster diving and petty crime.

Today in Chicago Politics

2008-03-17T11:58:00.003-04:00

I think I may have finally figured out who Cook County Board president Todd Stroger really is.

Todd Stroger

Steve Erkel

Coincidence? You be the judge.

God knows he certainly runs the county like a Steve Erkel!

"C" is for Cookie Pr0n

2007-11-28T09:07:00.000-05:00

So, as I sit here pondering how to actually put together an intelligent post regarding this subject, I realize simply cannot make this any more tragically funny then to just simply point you to the truth... While you're reading, I'll be plotting my escape.

Words absolutely fail. One has to wonder at what point the common citizenry begins to realize that the Republic is dying in plain sight. Perhaps we're just too gorged on cookies, pipe smoke and anger to pay much attention. Thank God there's someone to point out that the reason for my tendency towards pithiness can be traced back to Oscar the Grouch and save my children from exposure to such hideously dangerous things. Truth be told, when I caught the story out of the corner of my eye when it aired on WGN Morning News I was expecting to be told that the DVD's had simply been recalled because they contained lead. At some point, though, one has to wonder if the entire country of China is built upon lead deposits. Surely they must be running out of the stuff, for there's tons of it being imported in our toys! But I digress...

I really wonder, given all of these facts, how any of us survived our childhoods. I mean, what with all the toys we played with that had small parts, and our actually going outside to play with friends, like, at a park! In the dark! Christ, it's a wonder any of us survived.

But, thank God, the Government will save us from our horrible selves, because clearly children have absolutely no cognitive reasoning ability.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to picking a fight with my roommate while I smoke a pipe and gorge myself on cookies.

DOOOOOM!!!

2007-11-05T09:35:00.001-05:00

So the Chicago Transit Authority has been rather loudly singing the sad sack tale of woe that they're not getting enough money to operate the commuter bus and rail system in the city of Chicago. Never mind for the minute that they get massive piles of cash already put on them, they charge a reasonably high fare (very reasonable at this point) so money is coming in. Now, to stop this current DOOOOOOM problem, Los Federales has rolled up the commemorative dollar dozer and offloaded a cool &70 million or so. One would think that ought to be pretty good news... After all you're dealing with a transportation system who's riders pay a fare, right?

Nope. Thanks to the 56 or 70 million they got, they now have pushed the DOOOOOOOMMsday clock to New Years. Yes, folks. THIS new years.

So, my open letter to the CTA is, what in the name of Sweet Baby Jesus are you going to spend $70mil on in 2 months and be in a situation where you STILL cannot function properly come new years day 2008?

I'd pontificate on this more, but I just took an Ambian, and it is starting to kick in, so my ability to make any sort of logical sense ends here... Happy reading.. Good night.

Let Sal the Bookie know we're onto him, eh?

Heard It On The Newt!

2007-10-29T16:27:00.000-04:00

Greetings fellow zombies! It seems only appropriate to rise this blog from the dead in a "Night of the Living Dead"-esque sort of way, incoherent moaning and all! So, without further adieu let us shake off the funk of 40,000 years and terrorize y'alls neighborhood.

On the "Old News that's Still News Cuz I Think it's Still News" front, Our boy Newt is Layin' it down for his peeps. Now, I'm not much of a fan of the former Speaker of the House, but I do have to say that, him being one of the only politicians today NOT running for the White House, he's really opened up and spoke his mind. Further, and you'll find this remarkable coming from someone who generally leans right on issues, he's got a point. Since the ticker tape parades in 1945, this government has done one thing very, very well, and that's politicking issues to a cold, slow agonizing death.

His illustration of the point was excellent and spot on. It took this country 4 years to defeat 3 enemies in 3 theaters across the world between 1941 and 1945. Today, it takes 23 years to lay down 2 miles of concrete at an airport in the state of Georgia!

But, to our esteemed reader, this should come as no surprise. You and I are well aware that this government is broken.

So, welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. I'm feeling motivated at this particular second, so at the moment I'm going to say we're going to resurrect this old beast and start bloviating about all things political, cuz you know, what this world needs is another non-sensical blowhard, and we're happy to deliver the goods.. For the children.

Still Alive or: How I Learned To Stop Working And Love My Job

2006-09-20T17:47:00.000-04:00

So I see the ICP has cleaned up a bit around here. All you homemaker types might ask him to post some of his cleaning tips, as I'm not entirely certain how he so effectively managed to get the choco-peppermint fudge stains out of the carpet.. Or why those stains were vaguely knee and palm shaped in the first place. At least thats my story, and I'm sticking to it. Gotta love New Year's parties.

So we're still alive around here. We didn't abandon you to the silliness that life in this modern world has become. This dereliction of duty stemmed soley from ~~apathy~~ lack of time, courtesy: Work.

Well, and other things too. For example, there was that time I took my motorcycle on a 500 mile round trip over the course of a weekend. And a couple weeks in there I was on vacation. Then the weekend after I got back from vacation, I took another day off so I could go to a rennaisance faire (Extraneous E provided courtesy marketing wenches). Anothere time I took a long weekend to go on a camping trip. Actually the weekend camping trip thing happened a couple or three times over the past year. Gonna do it again here in a couple weeks, too. Oh, I even went on a road trip to see my favorite band.

So all in all its been a pretty busy summere. I'll try to poke my head in here more often, and any of you that thought there was a sexual innuendo there... Well.. You know me pretty well I guess.. Now, where'd I leave the rest of that choco-peppermint fudge?

Information Overload

2006-09-12T13:15:00.000-04:00

September 11th, 2001. A day that will live in infamy. And, if this last week is any indication, a day that will be relived from every conceivable angle and detail every freakin' year until our children's children are collecting whatever, if anything, survives of Social Security.

The last seven days has been a veritable orgy of media coverage of September 11th. In my completely un-scientific count, I saw at any given time of the day on my Comcast cable guide at least 3 channels running some kind of program having to do with the attacks that day. As we got closer to Monday, that number ramped up to 6 or 7. Today, that's all there is on any channel that isn't Disney or the Food Network. No, I take that back... I think I just caught Donald Duck mentioning something about it.

I don't mean to sound callous about the whole situation. It was a great tragedy and a sobering reminder that burying your head in the sand leaves your ass sticking straight up in the air. That being said, I really, REALLY don't want to relive the whole thing every single year. In fact, as I sit here, I'm watching the local news. Now, I don't live in New York. In fact, I don't live even remotely close to New York. The news has been on for almost 30 minutes and, aside from the weather, we are JUST NOW getting to our first local story of the day. We've talked about the attacks, the President's comments on the attacks, the children who were born around the time of the attacks, the whole "what were you doing during the attacks..." thing. Please make it stop.

What really zips me though is the undercurrent of this whole thing. I mean, we've got the documentaries, mini-series, undercover and investigative reports, moves and God knows what else. The accuracy of these reports range from suspect to downright incorrect, depending largely on the agenda behind the production of the program. For an example, we can look towards the ABC mini-series "The Path to 9/11". During the hype up to the program, they claimed that the show was "based on the 9/11 commission report". About the same time, the Democrats, specifically the players of the Clinton administration, who were heavily portrayed in the program, were crying foul, stating they were grossly misquoted throughout the film. Now, one would expect any political figure to immediately send out the "I was misquoted" form letter in response to, well, any quite, regardless of the existence of an actual misquote. However, shortly before airing the first episode, the phrase "based on the commission report" blurb was conspicuously absent. Coincidence? You make the call.

But, believe it or not, that's not my biggest peeve on this subject. In true American form, it didn't take long for the movie industry to begin their profiteering. United 93 has got to be the most disgusting form of profiteering my generation has ever witnessed, and I'm afraid we've only scraped the surface of this. We're not even close to the end of it. Think the movie isn't an attempt to profit from the tragedy of the actual event? Explain to me why tickets to see the thing are $8? Cost coverage is a weak argument. Hell, if they truly wanted to make it a tribute and a memorial to those who fought for all the lives that weren't lost as a result of the hijacking of that plane, they sure could have done it with money on hand and grants from those interesting in getting the truth out about it. Instead, the chose to make a few bucks on the graves of those brave souls.

There is the thought out there also, primarily propagated by the Liberal left, that all of this attention paid to 9/11 is a convenient way for the Republicans to manipulate the mid-terms by "scaring the public" into believing that voting Democrat would put Americans in danger. Whether this is true or not is a subject of another Peeve, but it is interesting to point out that the mainstream media (the same media that are pushing out the 9/11 programming like a crack dealer) is by and large Liberal. Never mind that the Democrats have no actual plan themselves on how to deal with the clear and present danger to Americans. No, Hillary, simply undoing everything the Bush administration has done to this point with a "we're sorry, Osama. Please stop hurting us" love letter on top doesn't qualify as a viable plan.

Which actually points to another flaw in the Democratic "poo poo Bushie" love-in. They're so busy jumping up and down asking for Bush to be impeached they forgot that they should, you know, FIND A CANDIDATE THEMSELVES!

God Save the Queen!

2006-08-11T14:19:00.000-04:00

A hearty thank you to Her Majesty's Secret Service for saving our bacon once again! At least SOMEONE out there in the world is paying attention, and good thing, since we here in America are waaaaay to busy to be concerned with jihadists wanting to erase our fat pimply asses from the map.

I sincerely hope this is the event that snaps the American public as well as the Hill and the White House back to the reality that there is still a clear and present danger out there, and it's getting worse. Don't believe me... Let's theorize for a second...

If successful, at least 9 aircraft would be been destroyed while enroute from England to America. All of these aircraft would have been widebody aircraft... let's estimate that each airplane had 300 people on board. That's 2700 dead. Now, according to intelligence, some of these aircraft would be over the American mainland, potentially raining debris into populated areas, but for this exercise, we're not going to consider that.

In response, the US Government would immediately ground all air traffic where it stood. I mean, right now, ala 9/11. Land where you are. It's estimated that this total ground stop would last at least 3 days.

Gasoline prices would immediately go to at least $4 a gallon, with isolated markets flirting with $5 a gallon. An investigation into this would follow, but on that day, you're paying out the ass, junior.

The Street would shut down, as would most business in America.

As the week wears on, expect to see some significant changes.. Once the airlines are allowed back into the air, capacity would be down by at least 70%. Several airlines won't make it back into the air, having run out of money from being out of business for the last couple of days.

Meanwhile, the economy will just plain shit itself. Once trading resumes, the DOW would take a dive of at least 300 points as energy prices head for low Earth orbit and the mass selloff begins.

Bottom line? Recession. Big time.

Clear enough?

Weekly Drive By

2005-03-14T17:17:00.000-05:00

Okay, kids! Quiz time! Name the person who said this:

"He's been out in these countries for decades building roads, building
schools, building day-care facilities, building health care facilities, and the
people are extremely grateful. . . . We have not done that. We haven't been out
in many of these countries helping them build infrastructure."

First one with the right answer is... ummm... correct. Double bonus points for saying who this quote is referring to.

More on this tomorrow! You'll not want to miss a beat. Not that anyone is reading this anyway, but what the Hell. Better to keep nobody in suspense then... ummm, wait a minute.

Ph33r My 1337 PaR3|\|7!nG 5k1llz

2005-02-23T10:14:00.000-05:00

In another stunning display of "It Takes a Village To Raise An Idiot" parenting by comittee, Microsoft does it for the children.

No, really. I most certainly cannot make this stuff up.

Eyewitness?

2005-02-15T09:00:00.000-05:00

This morning on Fox News, a partial list of eyewitnesses was released in the Michael Jackson case.

Now, one might expect that if the King of Pop had committed these heinous acts that he has been accused of, he would have at least had the presence of mind to make sure there were no eyewitnesses.

Maybe he did. On the list of eyewitnesses was none other than Stevie Wonder. Here is at least one person who can say with all honesty, "No your Honor. I didn't see a thing."

Wonder is apparently being called as a character witness. Again, what a perfect pick. "No your Honor. I do not think there is anything out of the ordinary about Mr Jackson's appearance."

Hopefully Jackson's defense will do a better job for him than Scott Peterson's.

Say What You Want

2005-02-09T19:30:00.000-05:00

That is, after all, the premise of a free society; the ability to have your own opinion, and speak freely about it. This guy

took that to an extreme with his comments about the people in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Ward Churchill said some very inflammatory things, hurt a few people (who lost loved ones that day) and offended millions more.

First, I have to say I do not agree with him in the least bit. Just as he is permitted to have his opinions, so am I. "Ward, you're an idiot who deserves all the threats you are getting and the concern over whether or not you will be fired." Do I think he should be fired?

Well, let me put it this way. Ward is entitled to his opinions. He is entitled to speak his opinions in any way he sees fit. But here is the issue: A free person must always know - and accept - the consequences of his actions. If Ward finds out that the university where he is employed no longer wants their name associated with his politics, well thats their right. Just as it is my right to make sure none of my kids ever attend said university. So Ward, no whining or lawsuits or bad publicity about the place if you do happen to get fired.

But do I think he should be fired?

Nope

I think he is an idiot. I think he has ideas that are way off base. I think that in speaking those ideas, he set himself up to suffer the consequences. But, though I do not agree with what he says, I shall defend to the death his right to say it.

Point - Counterpoint

2005-02-03T10:35:00.000-05:00

Here's where the Daily Peeve gets fun, in a CNN Crossfire kind of way. Or maybe a Sally Jeese Rafael kind of way. You make the call.

George Dubyuh is to the Democrats the political version of the Scared Straight program. Trouble is, even given this prime opportunity to win back the White House and very likely the Hill in the next few years, I'm afraid they're going to screw it up in legendary proportions. If we see Hillary Clinton as the Democratic presidental hopeful I will be convinced that this country is irreparably broken. Perhaps if the Republicans respond in kind and put up another "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead" kamakazi like Dubyuh we might see the first legitimate chance for a third party candidate since Lincoln. Ironic that the country was split in half during that election too. Of course, in true American fashion, the only one who will be back will be Ralph "I'm Too Sexy For My Pacemaker" Nader.

Jesus wept. Then moved to Canada.

Anyway, I think that the Dems would have been a little more "chipper", if you will, at the State of the Union if Dubyuh would have spent those several billion dollars on Social Security Reform instead of Iraqi Political Reform. Instead they were treated to a long night of "I'm the captain of this ship, now STFU and listen to how it's going to be".

Historically, when you're in a weak and compromised position, obstructionism and guerilla tactics are the only way to keep the other party from steamrollering their agendas unchecked over you, which the Bush Administriation part deux, seems bent on doing. Yes, it's dirty pool, but ALL the rules are there for a reason, even the ones that become inconvenient.

Social Security is the third rail of politics. Touch it and die. No one can argue that the Bush Administration (at least, verson 1.0, which has largely fallen apart post election and has been replaced with 2.1) isn't the poster boys of slash and burn politics, but they remind me of that Half-Orc fighter that always seemed to hang with your D&D Party. He's big, and he's pretty formidable, but he is most certainly a few beers short of a six pack, and his first thought when faced with a problem is to charge in, sword over head. Let's face it, negotiations become pitifully simple and expedient when you've got a gun to the other guys head.

That being said, I commend this administration for wading out into the deep end, even if they've yet to learn how to swim. Social Security is broken, and pretending it isn't won't make it "all okay". For all the over-reactionism the Republicans are presently guilty of, the Democrats have spent most of their time and effort pointing out that the Republicans are over-reacting and spending almost NO time at all actually coming up with better ideas, other then "please stop hurting us".

The Democratic party is most certainly a rudderless ship without a captain.

The Republican party, on the other hand, definitely has a captain, and might even have a rudder, but the whole crew is presently below decks shovelling coal into the boilers, oblivious to the course the ship is taking except to note that it's going there at incredible speed.

Political Meanderings

2005-02-03T09:22:00.000-05:00

So I actually watched the State of the Union Address last night. As political speeches go, its no Gettysburg Address. It will, however, be talked about. It was a well done speech. And I think I've figured out W's tactic. He appeals to people on an emotional level. He gets you feeling what he wants you to feel whether you want to or not. And that works, obviously, because he got elected to a second term.

Mind you, I voted for him. Say what you want about W., he is still a better choice than Kerry was. But then its kinda like the choice between the electric chair and lethal injection. Neither one is a very appealing option, and would best be avoided when possible.

The biggest issue I have with having W get re-elected is the likelyhood of Hitlery Clinton getting the democratic nomination for 2008. You may have noticed, Hitlery didn't have a lot to say about this campaign. Even Slick Willy for the most part kept his mouth shut.

Hitlery getting elected would be, in my opinion, about the worst thing to happen to this country. Of course, its not as though she has no experience running the show. Based on her own comments while her husband was in office "We are the President!"

So, what did I take away from the State of the Union Address? A couple things. Mainly, W is on the attack. He's aware of the methods people will use to try to obstruct his plans for the military in Iraq and his plans for Social Security, and he is acting like a skilled chess player, and moving to block before they can press an attack.

His comments such as "Four years of debate is enough" and "It should not be a small matter to the United States Congress" are a challenge. Obstructionists (Note, I'm not saying Liberals or Democrats or any other specific party.. Obstructionists are ANYONE who tries to block what the president is trying to do) are now going to have to defend their own actions or demonstrate to the American public that they are, in fact, just trying to stop George W. Bush from accomplishing his goals.

The thing I thought was MOST interesting was W. stating that his plans for Social Security include an account which a person can draw from in addition to the social security benefit they will receive. His comment is that money is an asset which an individual will own. They can assign that money to their children or grandchildren, and it is something you can leave in a will to your heirs when you die. And he said "And the government can never take it away from you."

That drew a standing ovation from.. Well.. HALF the assembly. It is interesting to note that not a single Dem stood. In fact, not a single Dem went so far as to applaud

I can't seem to figure out why not. Isn't assuring the continual care of the citizens of the US one of the primary goals of the Democratic party? Wouldn't this be a good thing? Or do the Dems disapprove because they can't get their hands on this cash?

Take note America! It is rather telling when the Democrats disapprove of any item that prevents them from taking your retirement funds. Maybe its because Democrats have historically used funds from Social Security to balance their budgets?

Post Office Goes.. Well.. Postal..

2005-02-02T15:45:00.000-05:00

You've said it before. We all have. I claim no innocence myself. When someone gets unreasonably angry about something, they are going postal. Thats just the way it works. Well, apparently some uptight postal workers are getting tired of the term, and are taking it out on..

Katie Couric

Apparently the Post Office has decided that going postal is a good thing. This public letter mentions many things that the Post Office does to help humanity in general, but they left off the biggest.

They improve the gene pool by eliminating more and more people like

Nuff said..

Just a bad idea..

2005-02-01T22:37:00.000-05:00

So I get to work this morning, and the guy we have coming in to fix a few things around here (You would be surprised how many people don't close the door behind them.. So I have the option of putting a large glowing orange neon sign at the front door, which says "Hey farm boy! Close the barn door!" or putting one of those hydraulic things on which will close it for the mentally challenged.. Only there isn't enough room above the glass to mount the thing, making what should have been a twenty minute job turn into a THREE WEEK LONG FIASCO!) starts telling me about a guy who was charged with Grand Theft Auto..

Now, ordinarily, I wouldn't spare a second thought to some cretin who steals a car, other than to lament the increasing number of county jail residents who increase my tax burden so they can watch cable TV and lift weights all day. This - Obviously - is different.

"Different HOW, BoNzo?" I can hear the cry already. Relax my children. I shall elucidate.

Seems this fellow went into the dealership looking to buy a used car for his wife. The used car in question is a 2002 GMC Yukon.. Ignoring for the moment that this is going to put yet another woman driver behind the wheel of a large vehicle she isn't tall enough to see out of, that 'Used Car' is precisely 12 years newer than the Fooked Over Rebuilt Dodge I currently have the misfortune of driving..

And yes, I hear the new cries from all the short people and women drivers out there.. Yes you will be offended reading this site. No, I don't care. This place is for me and Guido to rant about whatever the hell we want to rant about.. And yes that means even if he wants to rant about G.I. Joe war casualties..

Back to our hero.. This guy agrees on a price to the vehicle, pays for it.. Mind you he PAID for it.. Grand Theft? He does all the paperwork, fills out the title transfer application, yadda yadda yadda.. Yes ladies and gentlemen, he BOUGHT the Yukon.

This is where the story takes a turn for the surreal. A couple days after he has the car safely home in his driveway, the dealership (I am unclear on whether or not it was the original salesman) calls our hero and says "There has been a mistake. That Yukon was supposed to sell for about 20% more than was agreed on. We need you to come in and pay the difference."

Now.. I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I can tell you without hesitation what would happen were *I* to be on the receiving end of such a phone call.

"Tough shit. You lose.. Buh bye.. " Followed be the sound of my laughter as the handest seats itself, possibly more solidly than it needed to, into its cradle.

Apparently our hero thinks a lot like me..

And the dealership called the police. Yep. They reported the guy for stealing the car. They told the police the guy was supposed to have taken the car for a test drive and he never brought it back.

Imagine that officer's surprise when our hero presented him with all the fully legal and signed paperwork. The officer at the scene did have the sense not to take our guy downtown, but it remains unknown if counter charges will be filed.

Me? I'd own that dealership. In this litigious society, I'd become the worst offender.. Only I have to think 'd be right to do so.. Not like the McDonalds coffee lady.. Man.. How come I never get to buy $20,000 trucks for 20% less than they were supposed to be priced at and have the dealership call the police about it?

Some guys have all the luck..

NEWS BREAK!

2005-02-01T20:21:00.000-05:00

Special Forces Action Figure Taken Hostage By Iraqi Terror Group

Baghdad - Terrorists from the Al Mujahedeen Brigade action figure set kidnapped Specialist Special Ops Cody in a surprise raid on the Charlie Outpost Base Exchange just outside northern Baghdad yesterday.

The Al Mujahedeen Brigade threatened to "pop the infidels head off" unless retailers start selling the entire Al Qaeda action figure series. The United States currently have many of the action figures in question in storage units in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Miltary action figure spokesman G.I. Joe had no immediate comment on what actions might be taken, but did indicate that his personnel have been kept busy by an increase of activity by the evil Cobra Organization.

MBA = My Brain Aches

2005-02-01T18:42:00.000-05:00

"Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps." - Bluto - Animal House

The Wharton School Of Business. A pinnicle of higher education. A place where your children can go to learn how to become successful men and women.

Or something. Recently some professors issued a paper on the current state of the airline industry. No, let me correct. Recently some professors issued a paper on the state of the airline industry somewhere on the Planet WhatItIs. I'd write a retort to this, but I think I'll leave you to read this instead. (I can't directly link it, look for the January 31st entry.)

I don't fancy myself an airline expert by any stretch, but I can certainly apply some common farking sense and know that this drivel coming out of the hallowed halls of Wharton is so far off the mark as to make it hard not to laugh openly. Definately a case of professors suffering a case of being unchallanged for years and students unquestioningly taking the words of them as concrete fact. And they're teaching our future business people.

Jesus wept.

Thanks For Playing!

2005-02-01T18:27:00.000-05:00

Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends. The Airline show, that is. In case anyone hasn't kept up on current events, I work for an airline. Specifically I work for an airline that works for another airline, that airline being United.

It's been happy fun times for the last few weeks here. For those of you unfamiliar with the Chapter 11 Bankruptcy laws in the United States and what it means to people who hold contracts with the bankrupt company, here it is in a nutshell.

You, the contractor, must continue to follow the rules of your contract. They, the contractee and bankrupt, are under no obligation to do the same.

Delightful, eh? Anyway, a year ago United decided to put our work up for bid to the lowest bidder. We managed to "win" our work back, but given our prices and reluctance to put a bunch of money into more airplanes for a bankrupt company, we weren't invited to add any more airplanes to the operation. Well, it appears that, since we're the only carrier United contracts with that didn't substantially change our contract (read: didn't add airplanes) we were prime for the "fucking with" again. Two months ago, United again put our work up for bid to the lowest bidder.

Now, here's where it gets a little fuzzy. When this initially happened, it seemed that the brass at the top were trying to sort out whether United was serious about this or whether they were just putting pressure on us to lower our costs by using threats. My opinion is that they guessed United was bullshitting them and put up a marginally lower bid. United said that we had a month to put in our bid, then they would take a month to review it. That put the deadline of when United was supposed to make a decision at January 10th. Of course, the 10th came and went and United said.... They need more time. Imagine that. Meanwhile, apparently they were in contact with the brass asking "clarification" of the bid, whatever that means.

Dateline January 13th. The COO of our airline puts up an email stating that United had come to town and that it was "clear we had significant work to do to win our work back". Read: We guessed wrong.

The next day, the COO didn't show up at work. Concerned, the other brass eventually went with the police to his home to find him dead. No one is saying how. In fact, since this event, we've heard pretty much dick from Mahagony Row. Well, that's not entirely true. We returned one of our airplanes to the lease holder and are going to return another one in March. Oh yeah, and on the 25th we were told that we had until the 28th to put in another bid.

So, not to draw any conclusions or anything, but no good can possibly come out of this. By making us rebid, they're clearly indicating that they've sent our first bid to the round file. This, combined with the leaseholders now reclaiming their airplanes paints a dismal picture. I'm not going to speculate on the death of the COO, but I can't completely discount the possibility that the two events might be connected.

Not that this makes much difference. The mechanics at United decided that they weren't interesting in giving any more concessions to the airline. Further, they've indicated that, should United decided to throw out the collective bargaining agreement between the airline and the mechanics, they're going to go on strike. Nevermind that it's probably not legal for them to do so, it'll only take about a two or three day strike to end United.

United plans to go to court on Monday to ask permission to end the contract, which the court will allow. Look for the contract to be wadded up shortly thereafter, and the mechanics will walk within a week. The Bush Administration will take a week from that point to realize that even though they think the airlines should stand or fall on their own merits, the total collapse of United will completely screw about 45% of the travelling public domestically, and will effectively shut down many International routes, since existing airlines that might have the ability to cover the void lack the liquidity to do so. Meanwhile, at least 3 "regional" carriers will flat go out of business, as well as several subcontractors. Since the market will also be flooded with a glut of used airplanes that lease holders desperately want to get moving again, look for stock in Boeing to completely shit itself, as those who would have bought new commercial aircraft instead find holders of United airplanes wheeling and dealing with the potential new owners. Airbus will probably feel some pressure too, but not nearly as hard as Boeing will be hit.
Look for Presidential intervention around the 3 week mark... Maybe.... Oh, wait, nevermind. United would be well into rigormortis by then.

Can anyone say "Eastern Airlines"?

Had to share

2005-01-30T21:39:00.000-05:00

Saw this today and it made me giggle:

See? We haven't forgotten our public!

Are The Lights Still On?

2004-11-17T13:05:00.000-05:00

Okay okay, we admit we're not updating ~~much~~ at all, and for that we do truely suck. I think I, for one, am still astonished by the election. Whatever. So long as the Electoral College exists, we the American people are never going to get what we truely want, however I gotta give props to the old Bushwhacker, at least this time he got the popular vote along with the electoral one. Fair and square this time, I suppose. Not that it says much about the American people, but I disgress. This blog will get interesting as I am most definitively a Liberal and far as I can tell BoNzo is more a Conservative, though I don't think either of us really subscribe completely to either camp.

In any event, I'll just be happy to make it to 2008 without some country just getting sick of us and nuking us all to the stone ages. I can't help but notice that since the election Bush's Cabinet is heading for the lifeboats in wholesale fashion. It'd be interesting to see who's left. Can't say I'm sorry to see Ashcroft go, but I imagine Alberto Gonzales is probably going to grab the same constitutional plow that Ashcroft abandoned and go to work on your liberties. We shall see. I'm really not going to head for the border until I start seeing huge posters of Bush looking to the sky with a determined look on his face plastered across side of buildings. I'll give it 2:1 odds that by the end of this administration though we'll have no allies left. Look for 20 foot high fences and Constantino wire at a Canadian border crossing near you!

Speaking of Canada, word has it the Candian Immigration Website, a site that previous to the election saw roughly 30,000 hits a day, spiked to over 240,000 hits in the two days following the election results. Coincidence? You make the call.

Hey, at least my taxes won't go up.... Well, until the U.S. gets in such deep debt that the Peso has more strength then the dollar, which won't much matter, since if you want to keep your job, you'll have to head to India.

But, hey... I'm fine. You know, working for an airline has its perks. Of course, thanks to oil going to $fifty something a barrel I've started eyeing over the unemployment paperwork again, but HEY, no worries! The economy is getting stronger... Right?

Speaking of Unemployment... And Airlines... and being screwed... It looks like The Association of Flight Attendents has authorized a strike vote for every airline they represent, including the four linked previous who are in bankruptcy. This apparently is in response to US Airways' basically asking the Bankruptcy court to throw out their collective bargaining agreement. Here's the stitch, though. It won't just be the US Air attendents that strike. The call goes out for ALL Attendents at ALL airlines represented by the AFA to walk in the event ANY airline throws out a contract under Section 1113(c). For those keeping score at home, the airlines that are currently in bankruptcy are by no means MAKING MONEY, and in some cases are still bleeding money like a bank on fire, so basically for any labor group to hit the picket line would spell instant death for that airline. Now we're looking at United, US Air, Hawaiian and ATA, who are all in bankruptcy, and who's flight attendents are all represented by the AFA. I'm not even going to mention the 22 other airlines who's flight attendents are represented by the AFA. The industry as a whole isn't exactly a windfall of profits, so even healthy airlines could find themselves insta-screwed in the event of a walkout. Trouble is, the damage is sort of already done. Passengers aren't dumb. Many know what's going on with these airlines. Besides the passengers who simply wouldn't fly an airline in respect to the union action, most would simply avoid the airline on the premise that they don't want to see their flights cancelled because of a job action. No passengers, no revenue.

Anyway, if you've been following along, you'd notice that those airlines I mentioned above account for over a million jobs. I'm not even going to take a guess at how many other companies will suffer or outright fold up if these airlines collapse, but my guess is that it would be in excess of 3 million people, and that's IF Boeing survives. I can think of at least a dozen other regional carriers that would fold up like an oragami pet. If UAL, USA, ATA and Hawaiian go belly up, that's around 1000 jets heading for the desert of just about every fleet type Boeing currently builds. Why buy a new airplane when you can pick one off for a song and a dance from a bank that suddenly finds itself sandbagged with assets? I'd put Boeing's chance of collapse at about 1.3 to 1 unless the government steps in and effectively buys the company. Makes those 1,000,000 jobs lost in the last 4 years look like nothing but the opening pitch, eh George? If the airlines finally start to liquidate, the fallout could easily exceed the economies ability support the several million people suddenly looking to it for help. Can you say Great Depression version 2.0? I knew you could.

I really honestly can't blame the flight attendents. At this point, after all the pay cuts and dilution of the work pool, you could honestly make more per hour at McDonalds then you can working as a flight attendent, and with the shitheads flying on airplanes these days, you'd take a lot less abuse flipping burgers too. As it is, flight attendents who aren't married to spouses who make decent money are typically living in groups and on food stamps already. United wants to extract another $138 million from them. Granted United flight attendents aren't the lowest paid workers doing this job, but after this they're going to be getting awefully close.

Okay.. My head hurts... Gotta get back to Monster.com and see all the jobs I'm not qualified for.

A Summary Of The Week's Events

2004-11-04T10:14:00.000-05:00

Oops!

2004-08-13T10:22:00.000-04:00

Turns out the Governor of New Jersey had an affair.

Right, what politician hasn't? And it's not even that astonishing that he got caught. I mean, you're a frikkin politician! Someone is going to eventually find out and use it as blackmail.

This one has an interesting twist, though. Turns out Gov. McGreevey switch hits, much to the dismay I imagine to his wife.

And we thought Hillary was pissed when she found out about Ole' Billy-boy taking Monica's temperature!

Please Hammer Don't Hurt Them

2004-07-29T21:20:00.000-04:00

   People are broken. I catch myself saying this often, and I'm sure you'll see it several times here too. It's the truth. People are completely and utterly broken.

   I can't really put my finger on when I realized that this planet is infested with way too many simply stupid people, but every time I start to think perhaps maybe there might be some hope in the world, I'm slapped back violently into reality.


   Story time. Once upon a time there were parents. Parents' jobs were to raise their children. Part of this job entailed teaching the children the difference between right and wrong. Reality and fantasy. Teach them how to think for themselves.

   Those days, apparently, are long gone. Now many parents leave the education and raising of their child to television, radio and video games. What's worse, there are members of our Congress who have encouraged this sort of behavior with their "It Takes A Village To Raise An Idiot" campaigns.

    So anyway, back to the problem. Seems like another failure of a parent has somehow allowed their child to get their hands on a game that wasn't intended for him, failed to adequately gauge the impact it was having on him. He was so obsessed by this game that his friends noticed, but somehow mom didn't catch on. Of course, ignoring your child will do that. That's okay, though. Even though little Warren faces life in prison, Mom will make sure that Rockstar Games pays (her).

   Of course, it makes no difference that the game in question is clearly (at least for someone with a 3rd grade reading level of their respective language) intended for an adult population. Nevermind that every review about the game pointed out that this isn't a kid's game. And, lest you have absolutely no idea how to read, the friggin box has a big friggin' M on the front of it. As the damn kid at the desk what that means, if you don't know.

   But to make that effort, you'd have to care. Clearly Warren's mom didn't, until it became obvious she could sue someone.

Your System Is Probably Infected!

2004-07-29T17:34:00.000-04:00

So almost all day today, I've been trying to clean one computer of the horrendous spyware infestation it has on it. I've run every utility I can think of, I've manually scanned the registry for improper entries. The home page keeps getting reset and something replaces everything I remove. I'd like to think I am fairly good at doing this sort of thing, but the bottom feeders who create spyware are getting more and more aggressive in their tactics.

There is a senator in new York State (Not Hitlery) who is trying to pass legislation making it illegal to distribute spyware. Thats great, if absolutely everyone who does so is in New York State. But lets be honest with ourselves, that just isn't the case. The vast majority of it comes from overseas.

I have a fairly straightforward solution. Track down the source of the spyware. Lets say, for sake of argument, its coming from Turkey. First offense, Turkey is warned that they need to start policing their internet traffic to prevent malicious attacks on civilian computers outside their borders. If within 30 days the situation is not rectified, turn off their internet. Sounds unreasonable when stated that way, doesn't it? Its not really. Simply prevent traffic from any IP address within their country from being routed outside their country. Period. Maintain the electronic embargo for a period of not less than 90 days. Begin routing their data on a trial basis. If it happens that a third time they are found to be a source of spyware distribution, cut them off permanently.

Doing this would force other countries to make a choice. Either they take responsibility for keeping the internet free of this sort of malicious activity, or they choose to not be a part of the world wide web.

It would also, of course, require making the rule that any country who assists in rerouting traffic from that country would be equally punishable under these rules. Spyware costs businesses tens of millions, if not hundreds of million, of dollars per year in lost productivity, and IT Personell wages. Consumers also pay a significant sum in having this software cleaned from their systems.

The same applies to junk mail. I recently read that as much as 85% of the internet traffic is unwanted advertising. Think about that the next time the latest Daily Peeve loads slowly. Its probably not Blogspot making it take so long. Its someone selling "Ci@lis" or wanting to make you "H.Un.gFo.rHer" or whatever.

Additionally, the article I read, which I cannot currently locate, said that as much as 80% of the products and services advertised were fraudulent. Knowing that, do you really think its a good idea to fill out that credit application for that new low mortgage rate?

I thought not..

Full Pay To The Last Day, Part Deux!

2004-07-29T00:20:00.000-04:00

God I hate when I'm right...

Not to be outdone, the International Association of Machinists, who represent the United Airlines mechanics, have decided to head below decks and begin hammering on the seams of their own ship. So, now I guess it's a race to see which airline the mechanics can sink first; US Air's or United's! Stay tuned, as I think I can hear the Delta mechanics grumbling about being left out of all the fun!

Creative...

2004-07-28T23:19:00.000-04:00

Check it. You fi'n to rise up and get yo travel on? Peep Delta.

  Of course, like any good American business, if you call Delta to make a reservation you get free long distance to India to talk to their reservation center there. Well, sort of. Delta is so determined to save some change, they're even giving some Indians the pink slip.

  Oh, there's still a reservation office in the United States, but Delta would really really rather you not call them. So much so, they've actually managed to muster up the stones to ask their frequent flyers if they'd be willing to pay up to speak English. Obviously, the passengers responded almost overwhelmingly with a "get bent" gesture, followed shortly afterwards I'm sure to a call to American, where they got to speak to someone in New Dehli.

   How's that job hunt going?

Professional Peevestress

2004-07-28T13:26:00.000-04:00

Ann Coulter..

I want to marry her..

A woman who Peeves the way she does is a woman after BoNzo's heart

Michael Moore-On

2004-07-28T10:04:00.000-04:00

"Bush Lied!"

That was Moore's mantra on Bill O'Reilly's show on Fox last night. And if we were to listen to Moore, we should get rid of Bush because he is sacraficing our children to support his lie.

But did Bush really lie? He was told by three seperate intelligence agencies that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. What reason would he have to think he was being misinformed by everyone?

Lets set up a little hypothetical situation here.. Lets say while Michael Moore was in the Fox studios, he got a phone call on his cell.. Someone he knows is sitting in the parking lot.. Someone he trusts.. Someone who, for sake of argument, works in law enforcement. This someone tells Michael Moore that his car is being stolen and that he should call the police. For the sake of argument, lets say Moore does so. As it turns out his car is not being stolen. Should Moore then be charged with and convicted for filing a false police report? He would have lied to the police in this case. That is a crime. Should he be held responsible? Apparently according to Moore whether or not he knew the information to be false is irrelevant.

U.S. Intelligence, British Intelligence, Russian Intelligence all said the same thing which was that Iraq was developing weapons of mass destruction. The job and function of the United States Military is to prevent other countries from developing a credible threat to this countries security.

So many people have said that there have been no weapons found, therefore there aren't any. But what about the attempt on the part of Iraq to purchase enriched plutonium from Africa? That the attempt failed is irrelevant. It supports the claim on the part of the global intelligence community that Iraq is attempting to develop weapons of mass destruction. I believe there was also an attempt to purchase a functional nuclear missile from Korea, which also failed, although Korea got the cash if I remember right.

So they are trying. Or were anyway.

Nuke the site from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.

Used To Love Her

2004-07-26T22:03:00.000-04:00

But I Had To Kill Her
I Had to Put Her
Six Feet Under
And I Can Still Hear Her Complain

Guns N Roses

I don't condone wife beating.. I understand it!

Sam Kinnison

OJ.. Shatner.. That dude with the white parrot.. Scott Peterson.. And now.. Allegedly.. Some guy who lied about going to college and getting accepted into med school..

Is this some hip new trend that I apparently missed out on when I was still married? I mean I'm not one to jump on any old bandwagon that passes me by. But if you knew my ex, you would be able to see how this happy passtime might have been a good idea.

Those last couple cases are the ones I don't understand though. They got their wives pregnant and THEN knocked em off. Mark Hacking - whether or not he actually offed his wife and unborn child - had some serious issues. But lets look at what supposed facts there are surrounding this case.

- Mark Hacking tells his wife he has enrolled in a medical school on the east coast.

- Lori Hacking calls the school to arrange for housing and finds out her husband is not enrolled there.

- A few days later she "goes jogging" and is never seen again.

- Mark goes out and buys a mattress and then *minutes* later reports his wife missing to the police.

Ok. Its thin. Really thin. It makes Mary Kate Olsen look like Oprah. But I would venture to assume that with just these "facts" and nothing more, a significant percentage of the U.S. is willing to think the worst. Never mind the blood-stained knife in the apartment.

I suspect the naked hotel stunt was for no reason other than to establish a history of mental problems. He showed enough presence of mind to replace the mattress before calling the police. I'm going to have to say the "By Reason of Insanity" clause shouldn't apply here.

Blew By You...

2004-07-25T15:50:00.000-04:00

Looks like you don't have to make it on COPS or Jerry to be an idiot.

It appears that Linda Ronstadt (anyone remember her? I thought not.) is still singing.

Well, was.

Apparently she dedicated one of her songs to another blathering, starved for attention mouthbreather. This resulted in quite the uprising at the Alladin in Las Vegas where she was performing, with fully a quarter of the audience getting up and leaving. Those who did stay were pissed enough to start tearing the place up rockstar-in-a-hotel style.

Oh, it gets better. Before the show, she did an interview with the Las Vegas Review-Journal where she is quoted as saying, "I keep hoping that if I'm annoying enough to them, they won't hire me back."

After the show, Ronstadt was immediately escorted from the premesis with instructions not to darken the door of the Alladan again.

Looks like it worked, Brainiac, but don't you think that maybe if you didn't want to do the show maybe you, you know, shouldn't have accepted their invitation?!

I simply cannot make this stuff up.

Public Service Announcement

2004-07-24T11:08:00.000-04:00

In an effort to better serve and protect you, for whatever THAT is worth, we here at Daily Peeve have implemented a terror alert monitoring system to the right.

Just one of the many things we're doing to help short circuit natural selection and Darwin.

Ain't That America!

2004-07-23T17:33:00.000-04:00

Ever see the TV show Cops and wondered if people could possibly be that stupid in real life?

Ayup.

Read My Lips! No New Faxes!

2004-07-22T14:20:00.000-04:00

Today I'm not just peeved.. Today I am truly angry. Let me 'splain.. No.. There is too much.. Let me sum up..

I'm a small business owner. Apparently to many people this means I am an endless and bottomless source of revenue for.. Everything. I get phone calls and e-mails (E-mails will be covered in a later installment.. They piss me off too, but this is about something else) and crap sent to me by regular mail.. But what has me so pissed off right now is none of those.. Its faxes.. Somehow my fax number got put onto some national "Sell me EVERY-fricking-thing in the WORLD" list and no one is willing to tell me where they are getting my number.. It has *never* been published.. But I get stacks of faxes every day trying to sell me insurance, Disney vacations (Screw Michael Eisner.. He ain't any more of my money) stocks for the "latest hot IPO" .. Mortgages.. More stocks.. More vacations.. CHRIST! I'm getting buried in advertisements! Here's the thing that REALLY yanks my chain though

I have to pay for printing out advertising I DON'T WANT! I had to buy ink for my fax machine this morning because it was out and there was a fax in my machine's memory waiting to print out.. That set me back $40.. But then to pour the entire Morton Salt Factory

into the gaping wound, before my fax could print I had to wade through FOUR MORE trash faxes! The "Remove" number doesn't work and when you call the number to order the product just to get a living breathing person, they HANG UP on you.. Time and again.. To be fair, that may have had something to do with the string of profanity I was slinging their way.

What sort of an idiot thinks that marketing their product this way is a good idea? Pissing me off isn't going to get me to spend money. In fact its probably going to have the opposite effect. Even assuming for the moment that a business as unethical as to force me to spend money against my will and leave me no alternative is somehow a legitimate business, and that is questionable at best, why would I even momentarily consider giving a person who has demonstrated a willingness to spend my money without asking my credit card number?

I have gone so far as to leave my fax machine unplugged for weeks on end and still the faxes keep coming. Its getting to the point that I'm considering changing my fax number.. But considering I don't know how they got my number in the first place I'm not convinced that would help. Even unplugging the fax is not real solution. Why should I be forced to limit my ability to do business just to avoid the unwanted expense of faxes I don't want?

There needs to be a guaranteed way to stop this. If it isn't illegal to cost me mney that way, it ought to be. I'm the last person in the world to say this sort of thing. But there oughtta be a law.

Full Pay To The Last Day!

2004-07-21T00:23:00.000-04:00

Attention all you travelers who have tickets on US Airways. I'm thinking you're going to want to use them up by September.

Of course, if you're traveling from Pittsburgh you're already screwed. The rest of you get to take it up the tail pipe when the mechanics tell US Airways to pound sand, obviously having missed the lesson that says that if we don't study our history we are bound to repeat it.

And for those of you who don't fly US Airways and subsequently don't care if they live or die, try to remember that you the American People have roughly $1 billion invested in that airline, thanks to the Air Transportation Stabilization Board.

Oops.

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time

2004-07-20T21:37:00.000-04:00

I'm confused. I really am.. Since when is staying home the same as going to prison? I see new article after news article referring to Martha's sentence as "prison" but I see no mention of what prison she is going to. They further state that her sentence is "home confinement"..

Wait a sec! Thats not prison! Well.. Maybe at MY house its prison.. I don't even have cable TV. I can't afford it as too much of my income is taken in taxes to pay for the cable TV, Nautilus machines, etc of people who ARE in prison.. I don't have cable internet at home. Can't afford it. I end up staying late after work to update this website from my office. Don't even have a phone at home. I'm considering getting a cell phone, but I can't decide if I really want to let people get in touch with me more than they already do as it is. I have a TV there and a bunch of DVDs.. I'm something of a film buff you see..

But the point is.. Being forced to stay at MY house for five months would be punsihment! I bet she has a really nice place.. I mean.. She is Martha Stewart! I bet she has cable internet (So Martha, when you read this, know that I don't sympathize at all!) and Direct TV... Staying home baking cookies or whatever she does isn't punishment.. She isn't going to stop making money while she is at home.. Basically, not much is going to change for her..

But see here's the thing.. The word is the grand sum total money she made from the so called "insider trading"? About $500 .. Thats not even what she was convicted for, though.. She was convicted for having lied about it.. So basically, if she had just said "I plead the fifth" she wouldn't have had to cancel her autumn trip to the Hamptons.. It must suck to be Martha..

Don't Crush That Dwarf! Hand Me The pliers!

2004-07-20T16:20:00.000-04:00

Greetings, and welcome to the second coming of Peeve!

I'd like to join BoNzO in warning you that this site is not safe for children or small pets and is not to be used in a manner inconsistent with it's labeling.

We'll do what we can to ensure that productivity at the workplace drops to zero by keeping this site chock full of ranting goodness. Wanna rant back? Hit the comments below. We'll ignore you unless you piss us off, then we'll delete you.

Root, God. What is the difference?

So, without further mindless drivel, please hold onto the bar.

Why Peeve?

2004-07-20T16:17:00.000-04:00

Everyone has things that bother them.. Some people get bent out of shape if they can't park in the same place every morning when they get to work.. For some people, its jelly in the peanut butter jar.. Me? Pretty much everything. Yeah, if it exists, it probably annoys me. Like those damned Furby things a few years ago. Everyone thought they were so cute. I thought they were kindling. Maybe if I'd had Daily Peeve back then, the neighbor's house would have suffered less fire damage. I say less because they also had a cottonwood tree.. I hate those things. My cat sheds less than a cottonwood tree. What a crappy idea for a plant.. Some twisted fan of winter must have gotten into genetic engineering soley for the purpose of designing a tree capable of emulating the appearance of December in Calgary on July 15th in Paducah, Kentucky. Bastard. I hate you. But then thats why we're here, right? We're doing it for the Furbys..

I said FOR you sick bastards!

Well.. On the other hand..

No! FOR! FOR the Furbys!

Weak of heart need not apply

2004-07-20T15:20:00.000-04:00

There are times when I just feel a need to vent.. The pressures of daily events build up and seek the path of least resistance to escape and normalize..

Thats Blogspot..

This website is the radiator cap of my life.. So.. Stand clear to avoid getting burned..

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